How To Become A Wife Material – The Qualities Men Want In A Wife

How To Become A Wife Material – The Qualities Men Want In A Wife

“What will it take for you to become a wife material?” My best friend, now husband asked me sometime ago. And I didn’t find it funny. It infuriated me because for me what I was hearing from him asking that even though I am sure he asked with the best intentions, is that I wasn’t good enough, I had to change to be deserving to be his wife. So I got defensive. But looking back now I know the question wasn’t out of place because true, there were some things about me that needed some adjustments for me to be a good wife to anyone. And I did make those adjustments and became a ‘wife material’ for him, and he put a ring on it and became my husband.😊 Although I didn’t set out to change for him, that part was coincidental. Read our love story for more information on that.

My point here is that even though today’s ‘woke’ ladies will make joke about the idea of being a ‘wife material’, it isn’t something that’s all about getting a man to marry you, no, it’s good for you too. Any self improvement is good for you and the family you’re hoping to have.

How to Become a Wife Material

If you’re asking am I wife material, then you probably already are because such self evaluation usually comes from someone who believes in to whom much is expected much is given, and that’s the mindset of a wife material. But still let me share what I know with you hopefully it helps.

To know how to become a wife material ask yourself what do men really want from their wives?

My husband took his time choosing a wife. He was not easily swayed. He was so picky that his relatives and close friends started to wonder if he wanted God to create a special woman just for him 😄 He was very certain of what he wanted. So when he chose me and took the vows to have me by his side for the rest of his life, I had to ask him shortly after our wedding, why me? Here are the reasons he gave me:

  • I know what it means to lack financially. I didn’t come from riches and I’ve had to struggle.
  • I’m homely
  • I empathize
  • My ability to turn things around (the change I talked about earlier to become a wife material)
  • I am curvy. 😄

I’m sure there are more but those are top on his list of why he chose me.

It is likely to vary slightly from man to man the qualities of a good wife material. But there are some traits that’s generally required to successfully play the role of a wife. So let’s discuss the 3 main qualities men look for in a wife.

Be Supportive

There was a time that a wife material was a woman without a secular job who stayed home to take care of the children, does all the house chores and have meal ready for the husband when he got home. But now a woman like that will be considered liability by most men, especially Nigerian men. Most of our mothers weren’t even that woman. They ran businesses and did some farming and supported the family expenses. Such support is especially needed now because most men don’t earn enough to be able to let their wives stay home while they work. So a hard working woman with good earning power is considered a wife material now because she will be able to complement the man’s income so the family can live decently. But financial support is only a part of the support a wife needs to give her husband. There’s emotional support as well which is even more important because that tells him he’s loved and not alone more than anything else. He feels complete when he knows he has someone who believe in him and supports him.

Let Him Lead

African men require their wives to be submissive. No, it doesn’t mean you have to become a Yes sir and No sir woman. I don’t think any responsible man wants a wife like that. But you have to recognize his authority over you. And trust him to lead. Meaning you have to let him know before making a major move even though it only affects you. He’s the man in your life and should feel like it even though you’re used to being the boss of yourself.  You have to learn to be humble. When in a relationship that you want to lead to marriage you have to show submission. If you can’t be submissive in a relationship you won’t automatically be submissive after the wedding. The husband take decisions for the family. Of course you get to share your opinion with him and a responsible man knows to always take the opinion of his wife seriously, but ultimately he should feel like he’s making the major decisions for the family.

If you’re a Christian then you understand that submission isn’t just an African thing, it is how God, the institutor of marriage has arranged the family unit to run successfully. The husband is the head while the wife complements him.

These are some bible verses that addresses the subject of submission in marriage 1 Corinthians 11: 8,9, 2 Timothy 2:11,12 and 1 Peter 3:1.

You can’t really say you are a Christian if you do not submit to your husband. Why even get married if you can’t have someone be head over you? It’s easy to submit if you respect the man you married. So don’t choose a man for a husband who doesn’t inspire respect from you otherwise submission will be almost impossible.

Give Him Peace of Mind

Men want peace. In fact everyone wants peace in their own home. Part of giving a man peace of mind are the areas I have addressed above. But there’s more to it. You want to show understanding at all times. For example a man comes back from work all tired. He’s yet to shower and eat, that’s when you bring up something about him that’s bothering you. Or he ate and slept off immediately from tiredness and you wake him up to discuss an issue you have with him. Communication is the first skill you must master to be a good wife, but part of having good communication is knowing the right time to bring up a subject.

Learn to Listen more than you talk. I’m a work in progress in this area myself. Being a good listener helps you to understand things better than when you talk too much.

Be considerate. Do not nag. Put yourself in his shoes sometimes, and treat him how you will want someone to treat you in such situation.

Follow these recommendations on how to become a wife material, and any man will be fortunate to have you as a wife. Next read how I prepared myself to become a wife. I’m sure you will learn something more about how to be wife material.

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